The Origins of the Goose Religion- A Chronicle by Father GooseLover

The story of Genesis is false my children. Even though there was a supposed "God" he was nothing but a pathetic galactic bricklayer. He made the Earth and the Sea then all the animals and fish and then on the seventh day he made THE ALMIGHTY GOOSE. He also made humans, however they were not designed to rule but to serve THE ALMIGHTY GOOSE. After Millenia when humans were still apes (WTF) a magnificent thing happened. Mother Goose was born. She created herself. She knows all and is the holiest being of all beings and it is our duty to serve her or be consumed by the pathetic Swan. This is the word of the lady.
Thanks be to Goose.


1st Sermon of Father Gooselover

Humans and Geese took a seperate path, the geese were lead to salvation, the humans damned. The Swans damned even more. But there was the few. High Priests Joey and Peter stayed with mother Goose as they do now, however one day when they were spreading the word what looked like 20 followers of mother goose walked up to her with tommy guns in hand. Mother Goose said "What is up children, why do you wield such unworthy things, you have not been authorised by admin" They replied back with 1,000,000 bullets. Mother Goose fell to the ground. The 20 followers soon took off their camoflauges and began to walk out of the majestic palace of the goose. They Were Swans. One looked back and saw that mother Goose's body was missing. He raised the alarm. Next thing Mother Goose emerged from the shadows and consumed them in a cloak of destruction. So the morale of the story is, if you side with the swan and turn away from the goose, you will be vanquished. This is the word of the lady.
Thanks be to Goose!

The 2nd Sermon of Father Gooselover

Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly! Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!Praise Be Mother Goose! Praise be Kelly!

This is the word of the lady
Thanks be to Goose
The 3rd Sermon of Father GooseLover

The Mother Goose was sitting on her throne in the holy lake of holiness and a young beggar who all his life had followed Sally the Swan came begging to her. Kelly in here holy wisdom said "why do you beg"
and the beggar replied, "I was doing it for my lady Sally" Kelly replied " You need not beg if you join us for you will be shone upon with the light of the goose" This man was Andrew Jones, but now he has found the light and is now Father Ranchez. No longer a beggar he has plenty of cash to give out granted by the almighty lady.
This is the word of the lady
Thanks be to goose!

The 4th Sermon fo Father Gooselover

Our Goose
Who art in holy lake
Holy is your name. KELLY
Your Kingdom will rule from Lake to Pond
Your biddings shall be done
On Earth as it is in the holy lake
We will feed you and the ducks the holy bread
And we will tresspass
On the lands of Sally the Swan
(Bird Call)

This is the word of the lady
Thanks be to Goose

The 5th Sermon of Father GooseLover

One fine summer morning there was something up, an agent infiltrated a person who became known as the legendary Pem Skem, he was so possessed that his hair turned ginger and his eyes went in opposite directions. It was beyond Mother Goose's infinite knowledge of how to consult the demon. So she sent one of her loyal high priests to rid the demon fromn the planet. High Priest Joey was called to the scene. The Demon made Pem skems eyes rotate in mad directions. None that could possibly be human. So Joey placed his hand on the ginger hair and summoned all the geese from the holy lake to send their spirits upon him and cleanse him of the evil spirits. So all the geese came down from the lake and chased the demon forth from where it came from. The bottom of Sally the Swan. However the effects on Pem skems body have remained permanant, unfortunately he still has ginger hair and his eyes face inhuman directions however as we have learnt yet again the goose rules all!
This is the word of the lady
Thanks be to goose!

The 6th sermon of Father GooseLover

As it is indeed drawing ever closer to goosemass, there is 24 days to go. We need to take time to think and remember the noble deeds and holy ones that mother goose performed on Goosemass many many years ago. She did rescue not only those geese but our whole entire religion and a new revolution that shall eventually overthrow Sally the Goose. The falling of Sally is nigh. The second coming of Kelly Goosecock will come and her light will shine out sally for good. And for this reason, we pray

This is the word of the lady
Thanks be to Goose!



The 7th Sermon of Father GooseLover

A poem for Kelly

You know
there once was a world of woe
ruled by an ugly swan
Yes there was only one
then came the light
that shined ever so bright
It was indeed Kelly
No, not Nelly
so she made the world for the goose
and for the swans she made a noose
and for us an eternity of jelly
thanks to you oh Kelly

The 8th Sermon of Father GooseLover

In the Prophecies of thr almighty Goose there was a passage 'One day a wise follower will betray us and will damn others whilst keeping his identity hidden'

This prophecy has been fulfilled my children. For today (Ex) High Priest Peter betrayed us and decided that he should be the emperor. Furthermore he has had dealings with Sally. We shall pray to Mother Goose to guide us through these times as we must banish one of our high priests.
This is the word of the lady.
Praise be to Goose.


The 9th Sermon of Father GooseLover